Random ramblings to make me feel better that probably nobody will read and that's a good thing :)

The truck is here - we're really leaving. We've got awesome family here helping out with the crazy truck situation. I don't see why it has to be so complicated!

But on to the fact of the matter - today was the last time I'll have walked n and out of the doors of our church until the time in the future that God has designed. I've said goodbye to many these past few days - really good friends - not knowing when I'd see them again, but I couldn't cry. I felt deeply - my stomach would hurt and my mouth would get dry and I'd wish I could cry to maybe make me feel a little better, but I couldn't. But this morning all through service I cried off and on and the end was the worst: saying goodbye!

I bawled.

Hugs all around and goodbyes and everything I really don't enjoy. I still can't believe it's over - all these people that have been friends, mentors, people I can just ramble to, people that will pray for me, people to laugh with, cry with, be aggravated with, learn with, completely lose yourself praising God with, and have basically been a family to me...all this in a little over a year...and it's all over. I was a complete mess to say the least. When I got home I bawled like I hadn't in years - didn't know I could still do it like that.

I still don't know what God's up to, but I guess it makes sense to believe that he does not have plans to harm me - in fact, quite the opposite. Whyever he brought us this far only to take us back I don't know, but I'd be satisfied if it was only to let us be a part of AHBC for a short time.

Now my big question is, what's next? God, you've led us into and out of the best kind of family I can imagine. Now what could be better? I know there is something, cuz You are planning only the best specially for me.

Guess that's worth being excited about.

But right now it's rrrreeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaalllllllyyy hard.

I love you Alameda Hills!