I should be studying for Typography test...

But the people I love don't love each other.

Or try to understand each other.

And I'm tired of explaining people to people.

Especially when they turn into vicious monsters of stubborn closed-mindedness every time.

So I'm resigned to letting themselves figure each other out.

But that makes me sad.

Cuz it effects a lot of people.

In a negative way.

School is complicated.

It's too cold to not be snowing outside.

And my 5-wearable-shirt lineup is getting old.

The car is busted.

And it's my fault.

And it's a lot of money.

And that busted my dream of Lasik surgery over the Summer.

I am sick of glasses.

But not as much as I can't touch my eye.

By the way my glasses busted too.

The cookie jar's busted.

And that one's not quite my fault, but no one saw, so it is anyway.

And I wear the cone of shame.

And am considering installing a kitchen in my room so I never have to come out or see a human for the next 3 months.

I haven't had a real Sunday night date in a month with no end in sight.

And my guy works our first Valentines Day.

And the day before that.

And the day before that.

And the day after that.

And the day after that.

And....probably the day after that.

All that to say, there won't prolly be no substitute Valentines Day for this chick.

Which stinks cuz she loved Valentines Day WAY before she had a man.

I wanna eat chocolate.

But I don't do that cuz I really don't want to.

But I still wanna.

And that makes me sad too.

And Satan is pulling the whole God-provides-what-you-need (aka food and air)-and-don't-care-bout-what-you-want trick.

Again.

And now it's late.

And that upsets me.

Guess I should go study.

That's upsetting.

I can.

I can't wait four years.

All there is to that.

But you know what?

The Holy Spirit says that it can wait 40 years if necessary.

And you know what else?

The Holy Spirit lives in me.

The end.

Now shut up you people.

I can.

"I have a bad feeling in my core about this."

This quote from my brothers' extrememly corny BIONICLE movie is currently true in my life. Even worse, its toward another human being.

It's not anybody who will likely be reading this, so don't go thinking whether it is you or not. But it's a very interesting bad feeling I've got going on.

It's not really resent.

It's not really jealousy.

It's not really pride.

It's not really annoyance.

It's not really anger.

I don't know what it is, I just know that it is an I'll feeling that does not belong in the heart of a child of Christ. I'm praying about it, and trying to think of some ways to change my thinking about this person. Any ideas?

Passed Over

We all know about the first passover spoken of in the book of Exodus.

Then Moses summoned all the elders of Israel and said to them, "Go at once and select the animals for your families and slaughter the Passover lamb. Take a bunch of hyssop, dip it into the blood in the basin and put some of the blood on the top and on both sides of the doorframe. Not one of you shall go out the door of his house until morning. When the LORD goes through the land to strike down the Egyptians, he will see the blood on the top and sides of the doorframe and will pass over that doorway, and he will not permit the destroyer to enter your houses and strike you down.

~ Exodus 12:21-23

This time when I read the passage it leaped out at me--Jesus is my passover lamb. In this case in Exodus, the angel was coming to smite those who had done wrong. But God commanded the Israelites to put the blood of a lamb on their door so that they would not be killed along with the Egyptians. Think about it--even from that time, thousands of years before the Savior, God was giving signs for us. The Israelites would never even understand the significance of what they were doing at the time. Jesus's blood has protected us, God's chosen people, from being punished along with the unbelievers.

I have heard that before, but this time it really meant a lot to me. And here's the part I didn't notice. In Psalms 34:20 it says, "not one of His bones shall be broken" talking about Jesus. Then in Exodus 12:46 God says not to break any of the bones of the passover lamb. Whoa. Isn't it so amazing how God uses these things to speak to us, thousands of years later, just to remind us how mighty He is?

God is my Helper

God is my everything.

God is all-powerful.

God is all-knowing.

God is always loving.

God is ready to give me His words.

God provides for my everyday life.

God gave me a wonderful family.

God gave me an amazing guy.

God gave me beautiful friends.

God always watches out for me.

God is always ready to help me obey Him.

God protects me from harm.

God gives me the little things that I don't even need.

God knows what I do need, and He's never left me without it.

God always loves me.

God always forgives me.

God sent His son for me.

God does not lose His temper.

God is always there for me

God always hears me when I talk to Him.

God always pays attention when I talk to Him.

God does not just ignore me.

God is faithful to tell me what is right.

God always wants the best for me.

So why then...

do I be selfish?

Why do I be disobedient?

Why do I forget to be grateful?

Why do I snork around when things don't go my way?

Why do I be impatient?

Why do I sin?

Why do I not pay attention to God like He pays attention to me?

What I do not want to do, I do.

LORD, help me always to be alert to You. Thank You for loving me.

When the Knight Finally Comes Part 2

Second post done! Here is the continued chronicle of the Great Efum Entrance...


One day Efum came over after church. We had fun talking, studying, playing around. Then he randomly said, I'll be right back, and went out with my dad for a minute. Needless to say, I was rather curious. They came back from the garage after about 5 minutes and I thought, "What could they possibly have talked about in that short a time?" After a little while Efum left to go home and eventually my parents casually sat down on the couch, where I was writing. I was sitting on the couch writing and Mom and Dad both sat down with me. Oh boy. Dad, being the good straight-to-the-point kinda dad he is, got straight to the point. “Well, Ethan asked today for permission to court you.” Before I could say anything we heard Laney scream from the bathroom and then she ran in with a huge smile on her face. My brain just emptied in shock. The parents asked me what I thought and I said I liked the idea of courting Efum. Daddy said he did too, and that he and Mom had been praying about him and had had their eye on him for awhile. Whoa! How neat I thought! We called his dad to schedule a date where we all could talk about it. “I just need to make sure his idea of courting is the same as ours” my dad said. I knew very well that he thought the same as we did about courtship--as a pure, lasting relationship that is not easily thrown aside. I knew my dad was prepared to give Ethan permission. And I think I was in shock, but it was a different kind of shock than I have previously experienced. Before this I would suffer lack of appetite and shakiness due to shock, but now it felt like my mind had just been wiped. It felt like walking out of the ACT. I had only one rational thought for two long days—that I knew I would court Efum. That God wanted that. For some reason I imagined God kind of doing the universal “I-know-something-and-I'm-not-gonna-say-anything-about-it” face. Trust me, I'd gotten to know that face REAL well that past month or so on God and several other people that had suspected Efum's intent. I really wanted to think or feel something--I wanted to be excited, or maybe ditzy--but my head just could not wrap my itself around what was happening...this had certainly never happened before.

Finally, two days later we were in the car on the way to Efum's house. I still wasn't able to think, though I knew very clearly what was going on and what I would be committing to. That was all God—emptying my brain, yet keeping necessary content intact. We pulled up to the house and Dad prayed in the car. It made me feel a little less jittery and nervousish. We got out and knocked on the door. The only thing I remember seeing at the time was Efum standing in the hall waiting for us. Mom, Dad, Efum, his parents and I all went and sat in the living room and small talked for awhile (I don't remember a single thing that was said then, my stomach was freaking out). After a short while, Efum and I were dismissed with his big brother Caesar so the parents could talk alone.  Then I talked with his wonderful parents while he spoke with mine (it was fun hearing each other's sides of the story at this part, even though the same thing happened). We talked about what we thought courtship was all about, and our views on marriage and commitment, etc. THEN....a knock at the door. *GASP* Butterflies invaded my whole insides and stayed there. Before I knew it I was outside walking beside Efum with our moms walking far enough behind to see, yet not hear. Efum said, "I've gotten permission from your dad, but I need to ask you personally...do you really want to court me?" Well YEAH!  I had waited my whole life to be asked that. I knew how special and important it was. I said, “yes, I'd love to”. I had finally met my knight. He had finally come for me.

When the Knight Finally Comes Part 1

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my knight came to sweep me off my feet! His name is Efum. My Efum to be exact. God sent him to me with a label and a pretty bow :) I have decided to tell the story in parts, as I had no idea I would ramble on so much when I first got started :) So, without further ado...

I have always wanted to be a Mommy. Ever since I was playing with dolls as a little tyke I wanted to have my own babies. I always wanted to get married. My sister and I would dress up and play wedding (the groom consisting usually of a boy doll or eventually our poor toddler brother). But of course, the true meaning of marriage was hidden beneath all the floofy, too-large play dresses in my six year old mind. I didn't even think about what getting married really was.

That changed as I started getting older of course. I eventually came to understand that marriage is a life commitment to someone--a covenant. A vow before the LORD to love, honor, and obey a special person with your whole heart, unconditionally, pleasing the LORD for your ENTIRE LIFE. Matthew 19:4-6 is what Jesus says on the subject..." 'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.' " Once two become one flesh, they cannot be separated without ripping apart. The movie FIREPROOF illustrates it with salt and pepper shakers glued together.

So, as far as waiting for that certain someone went, the Disney movies were enough to convince me that I did not want a prince. Some girls always talk about waiting for their "Prince Charming". I feel sorry for them—what is a prince but a rich and spoiled brat who has a lot of people to do his bidding, just because he can sing and can have any woman he wishes with a snap of the fingers? Sorry prince people—you aren't my type. Even as a little girl, I dreamed of one day belonging to a knight. A knight works and trains for the sole purpose of defending damsels in distress. I noticed that if knight wanted a lady he did not resort to singing and kissing her while she slept—he usually had to slay a dragon to save her or perhaps outwit an evil wizard. He worked for her. He won and earned her heart, he did not play with it using flowers or fancy music to wheedle her into loving him. He even wore awesome shiny armor and weapons, how great is THAT? Okay, so maybe my view of the prince species is pretty bleak, but my regard for knights was always so intense it made up for it! Even as a little girl I wanted to wait for the perfect knight to come and sweep me off my feet. I always sat wide-eyed during medieval history lessons.


One Christmas Eve when I was 14 I think, Daddy called me into the living room after bedtime hours. The coffee table had egg nog glasses and was decorated pretty with a tablecloth and candles. My parents and I sat down and talked about boys, purity, and the heart. I knew what it all meant—we had had the conversation before. I got my purity ring that night, when I gave my growing-up heart to my Daddy for safekeeping. I didn't think much about it being a difficult thing at all—eventually my knight would come, ask my daddy for my heart, Daddy would give it to him, happily ever after, the end. I went to bed that night as a happy little girl.

A year passed. I truly started growing up. I learned that it is impossible for dolls to keep their rightful place in a girl's heart. I learned that chocolate truly does positively influence a girl's hormones. I learned that mood swings were real. I learned whole new aspects of God. I grew closer to Him. I made amazing friends. I learned that boys get tall amazingly fast, and that girls get curvy. I also made a more unpleasant discovery...boys were, for the most part, total jerks! This puzzled me—how could any of these ever be true knights? What if knights really did not exist, as some said?

Then the move to Colorado when I was 15. Pain and suffering. Just about the worst year of my life. So many hard things about it for the whole family and it's a long story. It was in Colorado that I grew up (some of the way :) )and became who I am today. But one thing gnawed at the back of my mind for the whole almost three years that we lived there. “How could the LORD bring me a knight HERE?” As it turns out, not only is Denver very bad at producing men worthy of second notice, but it's apparently also incapable of producing men of marriageable age at all. Though that was simply a personal observation. I had guy friends in church who were all at least ten years older than I. I had guy friends in the homeschool group who were at least five years younger. Absolutely NOTHING in my age range at all. But actually, I did not mind. Every Meggy friend in both Arkansas and Colorado knew that Meg was the last chick to walk around needing a man. I knew it too. Sure I wanted a knight, but that was way far into the future. I wasn't thinking about it, though according to my Arkanesian sources, every teenage girl was getting a little too interested in the abundant supply of the opposite sex. I just rolled my eyes. Looking back, I see how fortunate I was that the LORD took me out of the company of any future suitors and put me in a place that was bereft of men. I was not even able to ever be tempted, but the whole time I was hearing of my friends' man experiences and learn everything I needed to know from safely across the country. I do not even want to know what the LORD must have saved me from, and I am so thankful and blessed for my time in Colorado.

Then we moved back. All right LORD. It's hard to move of course, and I would miss many things about Denver, but Arkansas was always home to me. But I wasn't sure then why we had moved there and then back again. I knew it was of God, but his logic remained a mystery to me.

Literally as soon as we returned, guys started showing slight interest in me. But thanks to the fact that I had been in a man-free place for a few years and studying (from a safe distance) the drama in man-central, I knew the drill by now. I had my excellent brother jump on their case and scare them all away with menacing glares in person and death threats on facebook. They left. Shabang, that was easy. As a side note ladies, if you don't have an older brother about you, improvise. Little ones are pretty handy as well for this kind of thing :)

Then a friend of mine offered an English and Creative Writing class (to this day I tell her that this whole thing is mostly her fault :P). My mom asked me if I wanted to take it and I loved the idea! In that class was a boy I had not seen for years, and had certainly never spoken to. I knew who he was from seeing him in his father's Hebrew class years before, and the same thing that happened then was now happening in this writing class years later—God was pointing him out. It was like the feeling of someone just randomly pointing at a person, slient and expressionless, leaving you somewhat confused about what is going on. I ignored it at first, but every week I felt it more and more. This quiet man with a beautiful smile, a silent laugh that warmed me right to the soul, soft and sweet brown eyes, and a passionate love for his Savior kept being brought to my attention. Finally I just threw up annoyed hands. “LORD...what are you wanting? You're just pointing and telling me nothing else! You've never done this before, what is the deal with You lately?” But no answer. I rolled my eyes and ignored it some more. Apparently I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't, or not doing anything I should do—God would have told me if that was the case. So I shrugged and put it away. Now I think God was trying to wait on His own timing, but couldn't stand the beautiful secret and wanted to give me a hint ;) One day my big sissy randomly told me that she heard that Efum wrote novels. “NO WAY!” Said I. “That's awesome!” Ever since moving back I had been without my writing buddy...I had been spoiled and now I was dying for another one. I asked Efum if I could read his stuff. He agreed and I delightedly read and critiqued his amazing first novel. He in turn read some of my things, encouraged me so generously, and helped me out in so many ways. We wrote a short story in a group together. We kept getting onto the same writing teams. Somehow we got to talking. He shared his testimony with me and I was blessed and amazed. He inspired me to love my Savior even more. Simply talking to him made me praise the LORD. Not to mention he made me laugh. I then figured that God must be pointing because He knew that Efum would be an amazing friend to me. People started telling me that he and I should get together, because we were a perfect match. I started getting teased, but didn't pay any attention. I knew that if he ever asked to court me I would agree because of his amazing character, but I was trying not to think of him that way.


How does this story end? Er, continue? Stay tuned my fans! More to come! :D

Oh the Faithfulness of God!

Can you believe the love and faithfulness of our Savior? It sounds cliche, but guess what? It's not.

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." ~ Deuteronomy 7:9

"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." ~ Isaiah 25:1

"May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us" ~ Psalm 67:1

LORD, thank you for your plans and your perfect faithfulness in carrying them out for my good. I trust you and love you more than anything. Please keep me in your plan.

Captured by TOBYMAC

From his great new album....

I'm Your prisoner by choice

I will rest at Your feet

And I'll only lift my voice

When You want me to sing

It's the beauty of Your covering that's stealing my heart

And it's the mystery of You that tears me apart

If I should die before I wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take

And if I should get a peaceful sleep

I wanna wake at my Father's feet

All I wanna do is get into You

You got me captured

By Your love

All I wanna do is stay here with You

You got me raptured

Can't get enough

Let's go

The sun's on the rise

The sleep's in my eyes

The dew's on the ground

The night is disguised

There's hope in the air

I'm fresh off a prayer

The blue mountain bean is clearin my stare

I make recompense

It's all making sense

Like blood in my veins

You're my sustenance

A moment of trust

Your gift is my gust of wind

Til we meet again

So faith, don't fail me now

If you touch my heart

You can feel it pound

So faith, don't fail me now

You got me, and You won't let go

Possession

These past two weeks, I've come to realize something about myself.

I am, in one way, like a dog.

Our ginormous deaf great dane likes to lean up against his people--mostly my dad and sister. He'll lean, or go between their legs, or otherwise touch them to claim them as his people.

Well I've discovered these past two weeks that I do it as well, when people that are not my possessed people are around. Especially ones I don't know very well, even on neutral territory. I have to be touching one of my sibs or Mum or Dad when I'm standing next to them, or I grab one and hug him quick as he walks past. And if we're at home and someone is in the house with us, I definetley always have to know where Daddy is at all times. I never even realized I did all this until we had someone over for lunch after church for a couple of weeks. Now, thinking on it, I see that I do it even when the person that's over are good personal friends of our family. Unless it's my Wingboyz, my Bekah or my Emy (cuz they count as "in my possession") I'm hugging on my people when others are around. I think it's equal parts "claiming" as the Dog Whisperer would say, and having the feeling of protection by this person I'm touching. I asked my sibs if they'd noticed my touchy instincts and they all said, "Oh yeah, you totally do it. Not that I've ever thought about it, cuz I'm kinda used to it, but yeah you way do it". It's all struck me as rather curious, since I've never thought about it before either and I've been doing it for years.

But in our women's Bible study at church jumped out at me--God has a possessive circle too! He's territorial and has a clear sense of what is His and whose He is. Ya know how I know? Just look at how He loves to introduce Himself--"I am the LORD your God", "I am the God of your fathers", "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob", and of course "You will be my people and I will be your God". He does it an AWFUL lot. And He says that He is a "jealous" God, which is not a sinful envy, but I think it means more to the extent of what we're talking about here. It's fun to have found a whole new way in which I relate to the LORD, and it is SOOOOO wonderful to know that I am His and He is mine! :D

And on another note...well, don't you just LOVE my God? I've been praying for no rain these past two days, since we have a huge, unreschedulable picture shoot outdoors today. It was supposed to rain just as we were getting started, but I've been asking Him to hold back the rain all day, and so far the chance of rain has gone down to 10% :D Isn't it amazing how God loves us enough to care about these little things? :)

I wanted to post a poem...

But then I realized that I don't have the rights to it anymore! I won it's publication in a poetry contest! :D It felt cool to just now remember that I couldn't post it up here, I must say :) Oh well, I'll post something else :)

Have you ever been only SLIGHTLY offended by someone? I mean the kind that leaves you half chuckling, half horrified, wondering if you are angry, then thinking you aren't, then that you are depending on what time of day it is. Usually that sort of offended is brought on by a person who has had the habit of offending you before, or at least half offending you many times. After many offenses, anything iffy said by that particular person makes your automatic reaction to be, well, offense. Whereas if any other person said that same thing you would have thought it truly funny, or true, or not even paid any attention. BUT *gasp* that guy said it!!!! Now you just HAVE to think the worst of it!!!!

I had never much thought on this topic before, until a good friend brought it to my notice. Of course it is a true fact, at least for me. After all, that person had said/done whatever before and it was offensive, so why shouldn't I be offended now? But this reaction is sin. Each new offense should be treated as the first one, since the others were so forgiven.

Ephesians 4:32 ~ "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Matthew 18:21-22 ~ Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Matthew 6:14-15 ~ "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

That last one's a little scary huh?

One cannot write alone...

Writing a novel is a team effort :) I am writing the dedication for Of Shattered Things before I turn in the final copy, and had sooooo many people to thank. I'm sure I didn't cover everybody!

Thank you to:

My LORD and Savior, for giving me the passion and ability to write, and for being with me through every paragraph.

To my parents, for always encouraging me in my writing and giving fun ideas. I love you both!

To Christen Krumm, for being such an excellent writing teacher and for making sure I get my chapters written whether I wanted to that week or not. Thanks for everything Christen.

To Ethan Riley, for his amazing editing and admirable forbearance in having to read this whole novel in it's
rough state, and for always being ready and willing to give ideas, advice, and fight scene tips. Thank you,
Mighty Wordsmith.

To Laney, for being my ear to brainstorm in and my partner to word war with. Love you, bug.

And finally, for the original idea for this story and for always being a friend, I'd like to thank my sweet, talented Cherise Mabb...

I mean, Alena.

 

 

The LORD has declared it not good for a writer to be alone, and hence He has given me all these wonderful people to be helpers for me :) Thank you for all of them LORD, and for being with me Yourself! :D

Proverbs 2:1-11

My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding,

and if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the LORD

and find the knowledge of God.

For the LORD gives wisdom,

and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He holds victory in store for the upright,

he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

for he guards the course of the just

and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Then you will understand what is right and just

and fair—every good path.

For wisdom will enter your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

Discretion will protect you,

and understanding will guard you.

Mr. Sneakypants

One bad day, David had to flee from Saul to escape his ill-founded wrath. He went to Ahimelech the priest to ask for supplies and recieved bread and the sword of Goliath.

After he escaped, Saul pitched a fit as his officials. He sat under a tree and screamed, "Listen, men of Benjamin! Will the son of Jesse give all of you fields and vineyards? Will he make all of you commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds? Is that why you have all conspired against me? No one tells me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is concerned about me or tells me that my son has incited my servant to lie in wait for me, as he does today."

But one fellow, Doeg the Edomite, had been skulking in the shadows of the temple when David had been there. He stood up and said to Saul (I assume in a Grima Wormtounge kind of voice), "I saw the son of Jesse come to Ahimelech son of Ahitub at Nob. Ahimelech inquired of the LORD for him; he also gave him provisions and the sword of Goliath the Philistine."

Saul growled in anger and sent for the priest and his whole family to come before him. When he beheld a line of the priestly family standing before him and said, "Howdy there, priest. Why have you given my enemy provisions, and thus put yourself against me, your king?"

Ahimelech threw up his hands. "What are you talking about?" he said. "David was always your right hand man! If he's now your enemy, leave me out of it, because I have no clue what you speak of."

"Suuuuuuuuuure you don't." Saul looked at his guards. "Kill them all"

But the guards would not touch the priests of the LORD--they knew it was wrong, even though their kind had commanded it. So the king next turned to Doeg, the skulking one. "Kill them!" he screamed.

So Doeg smiled, and murdered the priest of the LORD and his family. One son of the priest escaped to tell David what had happened, and David said, "That day, when Doeg the Edomite was there, I knew he would be sure to tell Saul."

For some reason I had never noticed this guy before. Didn't remember him. But I was quite intrigued by what I found. This man evesdropped on David and the priest, told Saul, then murdered the LORD's anointed priestly family. I also wonder what all he had done before this, to earn such a reputation in David's eyes.

"He who plots evil will be known as a schemer. The schemes of folly are sin, and men detest a mocker."

Proverbs 24:8-9

Pray for me...

My heart is not 100% right towards a particular person. We shall call him/her "Sydney" because it is a guy and girl name and I have no friends named Sydney. Sydney is not someone who is close to me, nor would it be exessively GOOD if Sydney was close to me. The two of us don't cross paths very often, but it's not like I don't like Sydney. He/She just has some things that he/she does that require me going away from my fun to take care of he/she is doing. It is nessecary action and I don't really have a problem doing it. But my heart is not having the best attitude towards Sydney right now, because I know Jesus wouldn't think this way or make any form of jokes about it. It's really no biggie, just please pray that I wouldn't think/feel this way or accidentally make others feel this way either :)

A thought from my Bible study...

Remember when Isaac calls Esau in and tells him to go out and do some hunting so that he can bless him? Rebekah overhears and says to Jacob, "Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, 'Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the LORD before I die.' Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies."

This was a complete, boy-you-do-as-I-say thing. It was all her idea. Jacob obeyed, their scheme worked, and then (who knew) Esau found out and was SUPER MAD. He decided to kill his brother, but Rebekah found out about this too, and made yet another plan. She sent for Jacob and said, "Your brother Esau is consoling himself with the thought of killing you. Now then, my son, do what I say: Flee at once to my brother Laban in Haran. Stay with him for a while until your brother's fury subsides. When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I'll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?"

Did anybody catch anything funny in that? Who did she put all the blame on? I had never caught this before I did this study, but she put all the blame on Jacob for tricking Isaac! She had probably not even told Isaac it was her fault and apologized--instead she is even tricking herself and writing things off as not her fault when they get tough. I bet if somehow, someway the whole steal-the-blessing operation HAD run cleanly and nobody was furious or anything, she would have taken all the credit. Just a hunch... this girl has a few problems :)

Happy Birthday to my Marchies!!!!!!

First of all.....LANE TURNED 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best-looking of the Tagg gals is growin up *sniff sniff* Lane and I have been through thick and thin together, and the funny thing is that we've done it all pretty much getting along. We don't remember any downright FIGHTS we've ever had, except when we'd beat each other up trying to get the Barbie we both wanted. I used to could beat her up whenever I liked, but we quit that when we were like, 5 and 7. She'd probably stomp me out now, I'm on my not-so-strong side right now :)

And now.....JAHJAH TURNED 9 TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! No matter how old he gets, he's still my baby. However, he is just now getting too heavy to have on my lap for long periods of time :( He was the first baby that I was really old enough to "baby", so I got really good at changing his diapers and such. He called him "Mwamwah"...a slur of "Meggy". He's in TX right now and I miss him on his birthday especially :( Talked to him this morning on facebook and then on the phone! :D

Last but not least, MY CUZ MACE IS TODAY AN ADULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That boy and I did some wickedly crazy things as kids. What's scary is that it still tends to sneak out of us when we get together :P He would think of the bad idea to begin with, then I would be the brains of how we could carry it out. I miss living in CO and actually being able to see him.

How come we all have to GROW UP? :)

A cool passage, and something to think about if you have a minute

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

~ Romans 8:18-21

This is one pretty passage! Our creation is subjected to pain, wrongdoing, and frustration (kinda like my post below). It's like our world is trapped in a pit. But our hope is to freed and drawn out of the pit, into glorious cleanness and freedom! Praise God that He would call us His children and see fit to save us for no reason!

Also, I've a prayer request. I have this short story in my computer. Tis 4891 words long, and is called, The End Date. The long and short of it is, it is my baby. My favorite thing I have ever written. God really helped me during the writing of it and gave me some great ideas. I think I even cried while I wrote it (doesn't ever happen). Everyone that read it loved it, or said they did, and I thought it was an excellent story.

So I entered it in a Christian short story contest. Paid the entry fee, sent it in, waited patiently for the results. But no emails or phone calls. When I went on the final date to see who the winners were there was no awesome Meggy-written story...it was...a western. Are you kidding me?! And to add insult to injury, the contest people sent me a little book of all the shorts and poems that had won money that year. There was a painful lack of Meggy in that book, I noticed.

So now I'm looking for more contests that maybe will see the value of such a story. But there are problems all over the place. I want a contest that will take my story with it's current wordcount, have a good grand prize, not have an INSANE entry fee (it gets a little nuts), and give my story a shot even though it's Christian. There's always a problem. Good money-winning ones want 1500 words. 5000 worders charge a $50 entry fee. Christian ones want your publishing rights. This list goes on. Also, all contests want previously unpublished work. Say I entered my story somewhere and got like, honorable mention. I'd get like $50 and then it would be published and it would no longer be mine--no making any more money off of it or nuthin. See what I mean? This little fact makes me scared that, when I DO find a good contest, I won't win enough to be worth it. And with secular contests I know that they will be hesitant to publish such decidedly Christian material to their magazine or whatever...so even if I was better than the others, someone else might get picked and I'd have wasted my money to get in.

So, lots of fears and failures. I really want the best for this story and don't want the whole thing to come out a flop. It's probably just my own pride that doesn't want to take honorable mention and lose it's publishing rights. Still praying about what to do with it as I read it over and let others read it.

A Smart Little Guy

Watch this vid, it won't let me put it up here because this is not facebook... http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/boy-s-911-call-thwarts-attackers-18549401

Scary huh? Thank the LORD that nobody was hurt and that that kid and the guts to grab his little sister, the phone, and run to hide. Well done little buddy.

It made me think...do our littles know 911? It also made me thankful for our little peephole on the door so we can see who it is before we answer. It doesn't seem like the gunmen wanted to kill anyone, they probably just wanted money or the flatscreen TV. And they would do all that evil to get it. LORD, redeem this fallen world where children have to call 911 to be saved from their neighbors.

Lately I've been in a poetry swing...

It's actually kinda cool. I'm not sure why this is, but poetry is sometimes a really cool and artistic way of getting a point across to the LORD. I'm not the only one--it worked for David! So anyway, last night I was working on this one, with currently no title...

Lord, you are my defender

From each and every foe.

You've defeated every enemy

That sought to wreak me woe.

But now I see a new tempter,

Her like I'vve never known.

The frightening thing is that her face

Looks just like my own.

True, she has poked at me before,

but she'd been easy to shelf.

She now, somehow, has horrid power--

This version of myself.

She makes me think of awful things,

She dirties me inside.

She makes my hands displease me Lord.

It's her I can't abide.

But my God is bigger than even this monster

And He keeps me in His sight.

I will not be held captive here,

He'll save me by His might.

Lord, set a watch over my tongue,

Allow no ill to exit.

Please stop my deeds from hurting those

Who can't and don't deserve it.

But most of all, please guard my heart,

And keep it as pure as the sea.

Suffer no evil to enter it--

Please save me Lord, from me.

So ladies and gentlemen, I am proof--even if you are no good at poetry, the Lord doesn't mind. I think he likes to hear it. Nobody take this one or anything, though it's probably not good enough for anyone to WANT to take... :)

Going to see a movie today with my dear sista and maybe some friends! :D