Thursday, July 22, 2010

God is my Helper

God is my everything.
God is all-powerful.
God is all-knowing.
God is always loving.
God is ready to give me His words.
God provides for my everyday life.
God gave me a wonderful family.
God gave me an amazing guy.
God gave me beautiful friends.
God always watches out for me.
God is always ready to help me obey Him.
God protects me from harm.
God gives me the little things that I don't even need.
God knows what I do need, and He's never left me without it.
God always loves me.
God always forgives me.
God sent His son for me.
God does not lose His temper.
God is always there for me
God always hears me when I talk to Him.
God always pays attention when I talk to Him.
God does not just ignore me.
God is faithful to tell me what is right.
God always wants the best for me.

So why then...

do I be selfish?
Why do I be disobedient?
Why do I forget to be grateful?
Why do I snork around when things don't go my way?
Why do I be impatient?
Why do I sin?
Why do I not pay attention to God like He pays attention to me?

What I do not want to do, I do.

LORD, help me always to be alert to You. Thank You for loving me.

Monday, July 12, 2010

When the Knight Finally Comes Part 2

Second post done! Here is the continued chronicle of the Great Efum Entrance...


One day Efum came over after church. We had fun talking, studying, playing around. Then he randomly said, I'll be right back, and went out with my dad for a minute. Needless to say, I was rather curious. They came back from the garage after about 5 minutes and I thought, "What could they possibly have talked about in that short a time?" After a little while Efum left to go home and eventually my parents casually sat down on the couch, where I was writing. I was sitting on the couch writing and Mom and Dad both sat down with me. Oh boy. Dad, being the good straight-to-the-point kinda dad he is, got straight to the point. “Well, Ethan asked today for permission to court you.” Before I could say anything we heard Laney scream from the bathroom and then she ran in with a huge smile on her face. My brain just emptied in shock. The parents asked me what I thought and I said I liked the idea of courting Efum. Daddy said he did too, and that he and Mom had been praying about him and had had their eye on him for awhile. Whoa! How neat I thought! We called his dad to schedule a date where we all could talk about it. “I just need to make sure his idea of courting is the same as ours” my dad said. I knew very well that he thought the same as we did about courtship--as a pure, lasting relationship that is not easily thrown aside. I knew my dad was prepared to give Ethan permission. And I think I was in shock, but it was a different kind of shock than I have previously experienced. Before this I would suffer lack of appetite and shakiness due to shock, but now it felt like my mind had just been wiped. It felt like walking out of the ACT. I had only one rational thought for two long days—that I knew I would court Efum. That God wanted that. For some reason I imagined God kind of doing the universal “I-know-something-and-I'm-not-gonna-say-anything-about-it” face. Trust me, I'd gotten to know that face REAL well that past month or so on God and several other people that had suspected Efum's intent. I really wanted to think or feel something--I wanted to be excited, or maybe ditzy--but my head just could not wrap my itself around what was happening...this had certainly never happened before.

Finally, two days later we were in the car on the way to Efum's house. I still wasn't able to think, though I knew very clearly what was going on and what I would be committing to. That was all God—emptying my brain, yet keeping necessary content intact. We pulled up to the house and Dad prayed in the car. It made me feel a little less jittery and nervousish. We got out and knocked on the door. The only thing I remember seeing at the time was Efum standing in the hall waiting for us. Mom, Dad, Efum, his parents and I all went and sat in the living room and small talked for awhile (I don't remember a single thing that was said then, my stomach was freaking out). After a short while, Efum and I were dismissed with his big brother Caesar so the parents could talk alone.  Then I talked with his wonderful parents while he spoke with mine (it was fun hearing each other's sides of the story at this part, even though the same thing happened). We talked about what we thought courtship was all about, and our views on marriage and commitment, etc. THEN....a knock at the door. *GASP* Butterflies invaded my whole insides and stayed there. Before I knew it I was outside walking beside Efum with our moms walking far enough behind to see, yet not hear. Efum said, "I've gotten permission from your dad, but I need to ask you personally...do you really want to court me?" Well YEAH!  I had waited my whole life to be asked that. I knew how special and important it was. I said, “yes, I'd love to”. I had finally met my knight. He had finally come for me.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

When the Knight Finally Comes Part 1

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my knight came to sweep me off my feet! His name is Efum. My Efum to be exact. God sent him to me with a label and a pretty bow :) I have decided to tell the story in parts, as I had no idea I would ramble on so much when I first got started :) So, without further ado...

I have always wanted to be a Mommy. Ever since I was playing with dolls as a little tyke I wanted to have my own babies. I always wanted to get married. My sister and I would dress up and play wedding (the groom consisting usually of a boy doll or eventually our poor toddler brother). But of course, the true meaning of marriage was hidden beneath all the floofy, too-large play dresses in my six year old mind. I didn't even think about what getting married really was.

That changed as I started getting older of course. I eventually came to understand that marriage is a life commitment to someone--a covenant. A vow before the LORD to love, honor, and obey a special person with your whole heart, unconditionally, pleasing the LORD for your ENTIRE LIFE. Matthew 19:4-6 is what Jesus says on the subject..." 'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.' " Once two become one flesh, they cannot be separated without ripping apart. The movie FIREPROOF illustrates it with salt and pepper shakers glued together.

So, as far as waiting for that certain someone went, the Disney movies were enough to convince me that I did not want a prince. Some girls always talk about waiting for their "Prince Charming". I feel sorry for them—what is a prince but a rich and spoiled brat who has a lot of people to do his bidding, just because he can sing and can have any woman he wishes with a snap of the fingers? Sorry prince people—you aren't my type. Even as a little girl, I dreamed of one day belonging to a knight. A knight works and trains for the sole purpose of defending damsels in distress. I noticed that if knight wanted a lady he did not resort to singing and kissing her while she slept—he usually had to slay a dragon to save her or perhaps outwit an evil wizard. He worked for her. He won and earned her heart, he did not play with it using flowers or fancy music to wheedle her into loving him. He even wore awesome shiny armor and weapons, how great is THAT? Okay, so maybe my view of the prince species is pretty bleak, but my regard for knights was always so intense it made up for it! Even as a little girl I wanted to wait for the perfect knight to come and sweep me off my feet. I always sat wide-eyed during medieval history lessons.


One Christmas Eve when I was 14 I think, Daddy called me into the living room after bedtime hours. The coffee table had egg nog glasses and was decorated pretty with a tablecloth and candles. My parents and I sat down and talked about boys, purity, and the heart. I knew what it all meant—we had had the conversation before. I got my purity ring that night, when I gave my growing-up heart to my Daddy for safekeeping. I didn't think much about it being a difficult thing at all—eventually my knight would come, ask my daddy for my heart, Daddy would give it to him, happily ever after, the end. I went to bed that night as a happy little girl.

A year passed. I truly started growing up. I learned that it is impossible for dolls to keep their rightful place in a girl's heart. I learned that chocolate truly does positively influence a girl's hormones. I learned that mood swings were real. I learned whole new aspects of God. I grew closer to Him. I made amazing friends. I learned that boys get tall amazingly fast, and that girls get curvy. I also made a more unpleasant discovery...boys were, for the most part, total jerks! This puzzled me—how could any of these ever be true knights? What if knights really did not exist, as some said?

Then the move to Colorado when I was 15. Pain and suffering. Just about the worst year of my life. So many hard things about it for the whole family and it's a long story. It was in Colorado that I grew up (some of the way :) )and became who I am today. But one thing gnawed at the back of my mind for the whole almost three years that we lived there. “How could the LORD bring me a knight HERE?” As it turns out, not only is Denver very bad at producing men worthy of second notice, but it's apparently also incapable of producing men of marriageable age at all. Though that was simply a personal observation. I had guy friends in church who were all at least ten years older than I. I had guy friends in the homeschool group who were at least five years younger. Absolutely NOTHING in my age range at all. But actually, I did not mind. Every Meggy friend in both Arkansas and Colorado knew that Meg was the last chick to walk around needing a man. I knew it too. Sure I wanted a knight, but that was way far into the future. I wasn't thinking about it, though according to my Arkanesian sources, every teenage girl was getting a little too interested in the abundant supply of the opposite sex. I just rolled my eyes. Looking back, I see how fortunate I was that the LORD took me out of the company of any future suitors and put me in a place that was bereft of men. I was not even able to ever be tempted, but the whole time I was hearing of my friends' man experiences and learn everything I needed to know from safely across the country. I do not even want to know what the LORD must have saved me from, and I am so thankful and blessed for my time in Colorado.

Then we moved back. All right LORD. It's hard to move of course, and I would miss many things about Denver, but Arkansas was always home to me. But I wasn't sure then why we had moved there and then back again. I knew it was of God, but his logic remained a mystery to me.

Literally as soon as we returned, guys started showing slight interest in me. But thanks to the fact that I had been in a man-free place for a few years and studying (from a safe distance) the drama in man-central, I knew the drill by now. I had my excellent brother jump on their case and scare them all away with menacing glares in person and death threats on facebook. They left. Shabang, that was easy. As a side note ladies, if you don't have an older brother about you, improvise. Little ones are pretty handy as well for this kind of thing :)

Then a friend of mine offered an English and Creative Writing class (to this day I tell her that this whole thing is mostly her fault :P). My mom asked me if I wanted to take it and I loved the idea! In that class was a boy I had not seen for years, and had certainly never spoken to. I knew who he was from seeing him in his father's Hebrew class years before, and the same thing that happened then was now happening in this writing class years later—God was pointing him out. It was like the feeling of someone just randomly pointing at a person, slient and expressionless, leaving you somewhat confused about what is going on. I ignored it at first, but every week I felt it more and more. This quiet man with a beautiful smile, a silent laugh that warmed me right to the soul, soft and sweet brown eyes, and a passionate love for his Savior kept being brought to my attention. Finally I just threw up annoyed hands. “LORD...what are you wanting? You're just pointing and telling me nothing else! You've never done this before, what is the deal with You lately?” But no answer. I rolled my eyes and ignored it some more. Apparently I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't, or not doing anything I should do—God would have told me if that was the case. So I shrugged and put it away. Now I think God was trying to wait on His own timing, but couldn't stand the beautiful secret and wanted to give me a hint ;) One day my big sissy randomly told me that she heard that Efum wrote novels. “NO WAY!” Said I. “That's awesome!” Ever since moving back I had been without my writing buddy...I had been spoiled and now I was dying for another one. I asked Efum if I could read his stuff. He agreed and I delightedly read and critiqued his amazing first novel. He in turn read some of my things, encouraged me so generously, and helped me out in so many ways. We wrote a short story in a group together. We kept getting onto the same writing teams. Somehow we got to talking. He shared his testimony with me and I was blessed and amazed. He inspired me to love my Savior even more. Simply talking to him made me praise the LORD. Not to mention he made me laugh. I then figured that God must be pointing because He knew that Efum would be an amazing friend to me. People started telling me that he and I should get together, because we were a perfect match. I started getting teased, but didn't pay any attention. I knew that if he ever asked to court me I would agree because of his amazing character, but I was trying not to think of him that way.


How does this story end? Er, continue? Stay tuned my fans! More to come! :D

Monday, April 12, 2010

Oh the Faithfulness of God!

Can you believe the love and faithfulness of our Savior? It sounds cliche, but guess what? It's not.

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." ~ Deuteronomy 7:9

"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." ~ Isaiah 25:1

"May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us" ~ Psalm 67:1




LORD, thank you for your plans and your perfect faithfulness in carrying them out for my good. I trust you and love you more than anything. Please keep me in your plan.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Captured by TOBYMAC

From his great new album....



I'm Your prisoner by choice
I will rest at Your feet
And I'll only lift my voice
When You want me to sing
It's the beauty of Your covering that's stealing my heart
And it's the mystery of You that tears me apart

If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
And if I should get a peaceful sleep
I wanna wake at my Father's feet


All I wanna do is get into You
You got me captured
By Your love
All I wanna do is stay here with You
You got me raptured
Can't get enough


Let's go
The sun's on the rise
The sleep's in my eyes
The dew's on the ground
The night is disguised
There's hope in the air
I'm fresh off a prayer
The blue mountain bean is clearin my stare
I make recompense
It's all making sense
Like blood in my veins
You're my sustenance
A moment of trust

Your gift is my gust of wind
Til we meet again

So faith, don't fail me now
If you touch my heart
You can feel it pound
So faith, don't fail me now

You got me, and You won't let go

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Possession

These past two weeks, I've come to realize something about myself.
I am, in one way, like a dog.
Our ginormous deaf great dane likes to lean up against his people--mostly my dad and sister. He'll lean, or go between their legs, or otherwise touch them to claim them as his people.
Well I've discovered these past two weeks that I do it as well, when people that are not my possessed people are around. Especially ones I don't know very well, even on neutral territory. I have to be touching one of my sibs or Mum or Dad when I'm standing next to them, or I grab one and hug him quick as he walks past. And if we're at home and someone is in the house with us, I definetley always have to know where Daddy is at all times. I never even realized I did all this until we had someone over for lunch after church for a couple of weeks. Now, thinking on it, I see that I do it even when the person that's over are good personal friends of our family. Unless it's my Wingboyz, my Bekah or my Emy (cuz they count as "in my possession") I'm hugging on my people when others are around. I think it's equal parts "claiming" as the Dog Whisperer would say, and having the feeling of protection by this person I'm touching. I asked my sibs if they'd noticed my touchy instincts and they all said, "Oh yeah, you totally do it. Not that I've ever thought about it, cuz I'm kinda used to it, but yeah you way do it". It's all struck me as rather curious, since I've never thought about it before either and I've been doing it for years.

But in our women's Bible study at church jumped out at me--God has a possessive circle too! He's territorial and has a clear sense of what is His and whose He is. Ya know how I know? Just look at how He loves to introduce Himself--"I am the LORD your God", "I am the God of your fathers", "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob", and of course "You will be my people and I will be your God". He does it an AWFUL lot. And He says that He is a "jealous" God, which is not a sinful envy, but I think it means more to the extent of what we're talking about here. It's fun to have found a whole new way in which I relate to the LORD, and it is SOOOOO wonderful to know that I am His and He is mine! :D

And on another note...well, don't you just LOVE my God? I've been praying for no rain these past two days, since we have a huge, unreschedulable picture shoot outdoors today. It was supposed to rain just as we were getting started, but I've been asking Him to hold back the rain all day, and so far the chance of rain has gone down to 10% :D Isn't it amazing how God loves us enough to care about these little things? :)

Monday, March 29, 2010

I wanted to post a poem...

But then I realized that I don't have the rights to it anymore! I won it's publication in a poetry contest! :D It felt cool to just now remember that I couldn't post it up here, I must say :) Oh well, I'll post something else :)

Have you ever been only SLIGHTLY offended by someone? I mean the kind that leaves you half chuckling, half horrified, wondering if you are angry, then thinking you aren't, then that you are depending on what time of day it is. Usually that sort of offended is brought on by a person who has had the habit of offending you before, or at least half offending you many times. After many offenses, anything iffy said by that particular person makes your automatic reaction to be, well, offense. Whereas if any other person said that same thing you would have thought it truly funny, or true, or not even paid any attention. BUT *gasp* that guy said it!!!! Now you just HAVE to think the worst of it!!!!

I had never much thought on this topic before, until a good friend brought it to my notice. Of course it is a true fact, at least for me. After all, that person had said/done whatever before and it was offensive, so why shouldn't I be offended now? But this reaction is sin. Each new offense should be treated as the first one, since the others were so forgiven.

Ephesians 4:32 ~ "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Matthew 18:21-22 ~ Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Matthew 6:14-15 ~ "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

That last one's a little scary huh?